Let’s schedule our lives – including when we fall in love.

I am working and out of my peripheral attention vision, I hear an eHarmony commercial telling me in an affirmative tone to,  “Make 2008 the year you fall in love.”

According to the commercial, we can summon on queue that which usually seems beyond our ability to summon. Many of us think of falling in love as something that just “happens”, something we can’t control. Yet this commercial challenges that notion. It asks in effect, can one “summon” things to happen in our lives on demand? Is there is some secret to getting what you want?

Actually I don’t think it is a secret – but rather more of an observation. It seems to me that most people in fact do get the things they ask for. Unfortunately, most people are not very discriminating about what they want.

And if there is a secret- that’s it. The old cliché, “Be careful what you wish for”. got it right – but it’s actually quite hard to really commit yourself to that disciplined way of thinking. People “want” all sorts of things. But unless you really think about you really want within the context of your life – the “want” list just becomes a jumbled, meaningless set of “stuff” – no punch and no energy.

But if you construct a well considered “want” list, then you do get what you want because the list reflects the reality of your world. Your world – perhaps at its most optimistic sense – but you’re world nonetheless.

And oh – BTW – once you really really get this (and to be honest most people probably don’t) – don’t be surprise if people around don’t believe you when you’re quite certain about your “wants”. I remember, a while back I had a discussion with a friend about how much would it take for me to be satisfied. I said $10 million. My companion shot back – “you would not be satisfied. Once you had that you would want more”. I tried to convince him that I really really do not want more. I failed. I could see he did not believe me and I could also see I would never convince him. He did not understand that I understood the consequences of what I wanted. I have learned to be was very very careful in what I ask for because I know if I want it enough it will come to me – one way or another. He didn’t believe me then – but I suspect one day he will.

So go ahead, “Make this the year you…” – Just consider your “wants” well.

Judy Shapiro  




One Response

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